Linkin Park, oh, I suppose I've missed you. But what I've missed is your earnest boy-band-with-a-backing-bass sound, the uber-dramatic bridges and crescendos of synthesizers. What I didn't miss was your attempts to be Coldplay. I have seen Coldplay, Linkin Park, and you are no Coldplay.

What I see here is lead singer Chester Bennington (seriously -- CHESTER), singing about the world. The world is apparently bad. You can tell, because he turns on the TV and watches the news. Which is full of violence. So he laces up his manly manly construction boots and leaves the house to walk around the riot raging right outside his door.

And he walks around and sings for a while, while cops point their guns and rioters run amok... Really, it's a pretty boring riot as far as riots go. Eventually, a car gets set on fire, and Chester sings some more about how the world is sad and bad and all that... And then the video ends.

Some might interpret this video as having a very nihilistic message, but it's a video about hope, really. Hope that if you stand near a burning car to sing about how the world sucks, the car's fuel line won't ignite and set you on fire. We all gotta hope for something, I suppose.

As a profoundly embarrassed "Gimme More" apologist (I think it's a good song, okay?!), all of the recent Britney Spears kerfuffle has me feeling awfully torn. After all, I like the song. But everything that's happened in relation to the release of said song is more than a little disappointing.

And I'm including the official music video on that list. It's not just that there's something profoundly creepy about blonde Britney Spears sitting at a bar and getting turned on by watching brunette Britney Spears shake her moneymaker. It's also the seedy club, the uninspired pole-dancing, the weird fake arm tattoo... Oh, good grief, she literally rubs up against the wall for the part where she says she's up against the wall. Boo-urns.

In short -- oh, dear. I'm still a fan, Brit-Brit. But if you could put a little more effort in, that'd be great. We're all saying give us more, at this point.

What happens when you mash-up the biggest train wreck of a performance in MTV history with the bizarre viral-video rant that resulted from it? Believe it or not, something pretty f'in' fresh.

For those of you who have been off the grid for the past few weeks, on Sept. 9, Britney Spears put the final nail in the coffin that is her career when she appeared doped-up, out-of-shape, and in dire need of a lip-sync tune-up during a pathetic rendition of her new single, "Gimme More," at the MTV Video Music Awards. The very next day, Chris Crocker, a sexually ambiguous, hysterical young lad from Tennessee posted an impassioned defense of the troubled pop-tart on his YouTube page. The clip went viral -- in a very big way -- and before Crocker could say "drama queen," he had himself a reality series.

It's safe to say that neither clip is an example of bonafide artistic talent. The same cannot be said, however, for this remix of the two vids by AV maestro DJ Cobra. A well-known turntablist from Los Angeles, Cobra also boasts some nifty video-editing chops. And, as the old saying goes, he's got a knack for making chicken salad out of chicken shit.

Jennifer Lopez's live performance of her new single "Do It Well," on the British talk show Parkinson, is a perfect antidote to the Britney Spears VMA Music Awards disaster. Lopez looks great, she works the stage and the crowd with cheery abandon -- and it actually sounds like she's singing live. Sure, this video clip does lack the David Lachappelle human-sized-Habitrail touch, but when Lopez keeps the beat pumping even a cappella, we're willing to forgive that oversight.